1. |
Wonderbread + Roses
02:32
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i am captivated
by counting the patterns in the cracks
of the brick shattered window
i am distracted
by the cocktail of turbulence
in the molotov fire
i am overwhelmed
by the endless sea of strangers
marching in the streets
i am swept up in
the excitement
i can barely breathe
and i will grow my own food
but i will not eat it
guess ill die for my anxiety
the poison
in my head
will flow through my body
and i will not be forced
to fight to survive
so i may not survive
because i only know how to fight
i might not survive
because i only never learned how to fight
i might not survive
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2. |
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you tell me
"its just not right"
that i must be going crazy
you tell me
"i just dont know"
as if thats supposed to change me
well it makes you sick or it makes you mad
or you do not understand
well it makes me sick and it makes me mad
when you tell me who i am
tell me who you think im supposed to be
tell me how to think and how to act and how to breathe
tell me how to define my identity
tell me everything that you know about me
you tell me
"its just a joke"
but you dont even say your sorry
you tell me
to just calm down
so tell me why are you so angry
well it makes you sick or it makes you mad
or you do not understand
well it makes me sick and it makes me mad
when you tell me who i am
tell me who you think im supposed to be
tell me how to think and how to act and how to breathe
tell me how to define my identity
tell me everything that you know about me
i dont need you
i dont need you
i dont need you
i dont need you
i dont need you
i dont need you
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3. |
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hey did you hear the news
were gonna make things better
and you gotta do
is vote for who we tell you to
this billionaires got ideas
yeah weve got some great ideas
a brand new world is coming
yeah your boss will pay you more
youll take out a smaller loan
for all your pain to be ignored
this doctors got some meetings
yeah hes got some important meetings
but its getting better
did you hear its getting better
you dont have to do a thing
its getting better
its getting better
its getting better
hey how are you doing
do you feel like dying
were here to help you through this
so that you can pay our bills
weve heard youve got some ideas
yeah youve got the wrong ideas
but its getting better
did you hear its getting better
you dont have to do a thing
its getting better
its getting better
its getting better
sure the world is getting warmer
but you could always use less water
did you ever think about that
how its basically all your fault
cause money doesnt grow on trees
and greed is greener than any rainforest
where slaves make your venti half-caf latte
that you pickup on your way to work
where you steal numbers from starving children
and you think your safe
well maybe you are
but i wanna look you in the fucking eye
i wanna yell into your fucking face
that if were all gonna die
then you
will first
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4. |
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what does my body look like
its been so long since ive seen it
what does my body feel like
its been so long since ive been in it
rotten and decayed
mechanical blood
mechanical heart
rotten and decayed
immortal blood
until oblivion
this isnt mine
this isnt me
the end is always coming
but it never really ends
breathless without breathing
timeless without trying
i am dead
i am dead
but im not dying anymore
what does my body look it
is it rot decay and dust
thats whats mine
that is me
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5. |
Insistently (im fine)
03:23
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im drowing
down
down
deeper into
a space i dont remember anymore
waiting for the moment
that it comes crashing down
and i hit the ground
take a piece for yourself
hold it safe
in the pockets of your heart
take a piece of myself
hold it safe
i am weightless
fucking wasted
waiting restlessly for
something to happen
something special
something important
anything
meaningful
take a piece for yourself
hold it safe
in the pockets of your heart
take a piece of myself
hold it safe
please get me out of here
i dont wanna feel a thing
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6. |
The End/With You
03:50
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the last thing i remember
was seeing your face
now i dont know where i am
at any given time or place
i cant explain the feeling
of being lost in space
when the only place i find myself
is lost in your embrace
and i know
i wont survive
cause my heart is beating faster
and my time is running out
and i never thought it would be like this
no i never thought it could be such bliss
im dying
wont you give me one last kiss
the last thing i expected
was floating away
past everything i thought
would remind me to stay
i dont know what im doing
i dont know what to say
but everyday im with you
feels just like judgement day
and i know
i wont survive
cause my heart is beating faster
and my time is running out
and i never thought it would be like this
no i never thought it could be such bliss
im dying
wont you give me one last kiss
this feels like the end
let this be the end
let me spend the end/with you
this feels like the end
let this be the end
let me spend the end/with you
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7. |
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crack my head against the fucking pavement
im afraid that your gonna have to tell me again
i cant hear you with that boot shoved down your throat
lets do it again again
again again again again
until we cannot feel our feet
again again again again
until we cannot cough up teeth
again again again again
until we finally believe
again again again again
again again again again
crush my throat in the grip of starvation
im afraid your gonna have to hit me again
cause not even suffocations gonna fucking silence me
lets do it again again
again again again again
until we cannot feel our feet
again again again again
until we cannot cough up teeth
again again again again
until we finally believe
again again again again
again again again again
im gonna spit blood in your face
im gonna break my fucking head against your grave
im so fucking angry
fuck me up
i wanna die
i wanna die
i wanna die
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8. |
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im spitting fire
because i havent hydrated
in at least a dozen hours
like its something to be proud of
im fighting dirty
because i havent washed my clothes
in a month or maybe longer
at least i can take a shower
at least i understand
the necessity of water
boiling acid for my supper
drown anxiety in stupor
longing for the better days
when i could care about another
at least i understand
at least i understand
the necessity of water
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Gleaming Moonlight Edmonton, Alberta
idk, its some music what are you expecting?
(she/her)
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