1. |
||||
|
i want to be someone who
can make a fucking difference.
but how can i make change if i
can't even wash the dishes
i want to create beauty but
creation is exhausting.
how can i be kind my friends
if all if feel is nothing
im sick of throwing out all of my cigarettes again
im sick of staying in when i would rather see my friends
im sick of complaining without taking any action
im sick of running as my first reaction
i dont know
what im waiting for
im terrified of dying
alone afraid and poor
but im already afraid
and im already poor
and i dont know
how to talk to anyone
im sick of throwing out all of my cigarettes again
im sick of staying in when i would rather see my friends
im sick of complaining without taking any action
im sick of running as my first reaction
im sick of running as my first reaction
|
||||
2. |
hyperluminous Oblivion
03:05
|
|||
|
most of what i makeup never manifests
all my makeup's buried underneath the mess
my mistakes play on repeat
and i am once again reminded of
all the synonyms that i know for distressed
i am buried in the remnants
of an overwhelming pretense
of 'what if's, 'maybe's, 'one day's
and 'better to be sure'
i am smothered by the presence
of an all consuming empty fucking hole inside my head
most of my intentions are exemplified
by the symptoms that go swimming through my mind
when i feel that i can't breathe
and i am once again obsessing on
all the different ways that i think i might die
i am buried in the remnants
of a meaningless existence
of 'what if's, 'maybe's, 'fuck me's
and 'what a piece of shit'
i am smothered by the presence
of an all consuming empty fucking hole inside my head
am i happy with who am i?
not at all
not at all
i wanna keep on growing
but i dont know how to fall
ill idle for eternity until i hear the call
and no matter who i am ill give my all
i am buried in the remnants
of an overwhelming pretense
of 'what if's, 'maybe's, 'one day's
and 'what a piece of shit'
i am smothered by the presence
of an all consuming empty fucking hole inside my head
inside my head inside my head
of an all consuming hole inside my head
|
||||
3. |
||||
|
feral catgirl, in my head
wants to bite and rip and shred and tear and kill
feral catgirl, in my mind
just wants to get high and fucking chill
fuck and chill, nothing more
cause a catgirl's just got one thing on her mind
getting pounded by a catgirl from behind
feral catgirl cock
gorgeous catgirl dick
get the girls together for a good time
rub our dicks together for a good time
feral catgirl cock
feral catgirl, if you please
tell me everything you wanna do to me
feral catgirl, i am yours
i'll be everything you want and even more
even more, fuck me up
cause this catgirl's just got one thing on her mind
going down on other catgirls is divine
feral catgirl cock
gorgeous catgirl dick
get the girls together for a good time
rub our dicks together for a good time
feral catgirl cock
i want to rub my hands along your naked body
i want to shove your catgirl cock inside my throat
i want to worship at the alter of your pleasure
i want to surrender all control
breed me, til im nothing
but a catgirl with just one thing on her mind
getting fucked by other catgirls all the time
feral catgirl cock
gorgeous catgirl dick
get the girls together for a good time
rub our dicks together for a good time
feral catgirl cock
feral catgirl cock
|
||||
4. |
||||
|
i cannot feel the bones under my skin
my muscles do not move, they do not move
they do not tell me they are moving
i am leaking from my eyes and from my mouth
i am offbeats of the eardrum
i am heartless
i cannot breathe, i have no lungs
there is not noise inside my skull
there is empty, there is water, there is meat
still, there is a body
still, there is a body
there is a body, there is a body
i don't wanna be a body anymore
dig out every organ
carve out every neuron
replace me bit by bit until
there's nothing left of me
but simulacra
and replication
and whatever part of me that still remains
will inhabit
this perfect body
that cannot scream, and cannot cry
will never spend another night
wondering if everybody hates it for
something out of its control
and it will
never lie awake
fantasizing about replacing itself
with something utterly inhuman
something that will never
feel a fucking thing
still, there is a body
still, there is a body
there is a body, there is a body
i don't wanna be a body anymore
|
||||
5. |
||||
|
i used to believe that i could be somebody new
i guess that i still do
im someone new every day
if only i could be
what i wanted at thirteen
i could convince myself its gonna be okay
i imagine i am dreaming in my nightmares
so i dont wake up screaming (I STILL WAKE UP SCREAMING)
i imagine i am dreaming in my nightmares
im still dreaming (IM STILL DREAMING)
i used to believe that i would never have to rest
but im not at my best
IM SPENDING EVERY DAY IN BED
if only i could be
what was expected of me
i could convince myself that its all in my head
i imagine i am dreaming in my nightmares
so i dont wake up screaming (I STILL WAKE UP SCREAMING)
i imagine i am dreaming in my nightmares
im still dreaming (IM STILL DREAMING)
the deal i made
with the devil in my head
was do your worst
it's okay
ill criticize you
anyway
i imagine i am dreaming in my nightmares
so i dont wake up screaming
i still wake up screaming
|
||||
6. |
godfeels
03:49
|
|||
|
ive been avoiding looking in the mirror
more from habit than a fear of what ill see
ive been avoiding thinking of the future
cause i dont know what place is left for me
im stuck inside a system i can sustain
a subtle silence seeping through my bones
ive been avoiding trying to complain
but i just want a space to call my own
i dreamed of getting better
now ive got something to fear
i dont know where were going
but im glad that you are here
and maybe when we get there
we can settle down for good
TAKE ME AS I AM
I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU
I AM FAR MORE
FUCKING DANGEROUS THAN YOU
and when we get there
i hope you get there too
i dreamed of getting better
now ive got something to fear
i dont know where were going
but im glad that you are here
and maybe when we get there
we can settle down for good
|
||||
7. |
||||
|
a poster girl for innocence
with ribbons in your hair
how can you convince yourself
that youre really there
its easy to dismiss yourself
as figments in my head
i guess that that is better than
wishing you were dead
and its not much
but you deserve
so much more than you get
and its not much
but i will give
you what i can
the picture in my memory
is nothing but a whole
the spaces you exist in
where you stake your soul
its hard for me to reconcile
my vision of myself
as a monster without feeling with
out hurting you as well
and its not much
but you deserve
so much more than you get
and its not much
but i will give
you what i can
im sorry
for the pain
you didnt
ask to be this way
it hurts when
im alive
but im glad youre
by my side
and its not much
but you deserve
so much more than you get
and its not much
but i will give
you what i can
|
||||
8. |
||||
|
i can feel the walls shifting
all around me
the shadows dance around
as a focus on the ground
with hostile intention
like 'holy fuck, this must be the ending'
oh ~
fire and brimstone
oh ~ oh
oh ~
fire and brimstone
im in hell, im in hell, im in hell
i can see the eyes staring
all around me
i dont make a sound
as i stare directly down
with inward attention
like 'holy fuck, not point in pretending'
oh ~
fire and brimstone
oh ~ oh
oh ~
fire and brimstone
im in hell, im in hell, im in hell
i will claw my fingers
til they bleed
against the floor
as you drag me
against my will
and desperately
less i escape
and set you free
oh minotaur you
wont stop me
yet i keep scrolling
endlessly
oh ~
fire and brimstone
oh ~ oh
oh ~
fire and brimstone
im in hell, im in hell, im in hell, im in hell
im in hell, im in hell, im in hell
|
||||
9. |
||||
|
place your hands gently on my skin
dig your nails into my flesh and
rip and break and tear
bleed me dry
rend my body bloody bare
ill be there
meekly making monsters out of
molehills in my mind
i am not enough, i will never be enough
boldly breaking barriers
every time we touch
you tell me im enough, and i believe that im enough
place my hands gently into yours
sink your teeth into my neck and
leave me on the floor
in a puddle
of my blood and guts and gore
i am yours
meekly making monsters out of
molehills in my mind
i am not enough, i will never be enough
boldly breaking barriers
every time we touch
you tell me im enough, and i believe that im enough
touch me
hold me
grab me
scold me
bruise me
control me
destroy my body
destroy my body
destroy my body
meekly making monsters out of
molehills in my mind
i am not enough, i will never be enough
boldly breaking barriers
every time we touch
you tell me im enough, and i believe that im enough
|
||||
10. |
||||
|
everyone around me
just wants to tear it down
and i really dont disagree with them
cause what i see in front of me
is misery and suffering
are we just waiting for the end
everyone around me
just needs a couple bucks
so they dont end up hungry in the street
charity's a virtue
but it can't replace community
in making sure we all have food to eat
property is violence
when everyone is dying
if you can stand, stand up for those who cant
and if you feel like trying
then we can start a riot
even if the world's still gonna end
everyone around me
is stronger than they thing
and they show it every single fucking day
so if youre scared and lonely
or just angry at society
you matter in a million fucking ways
property is violence
when everyone is dying
if you can stand, stand up for those who cant
and if you feel like trying
then we can start a riot
even if the world's still gonna end
if you take my hand
then we can run a little farther
if you hold my hand
then we can push a little harder
we might not save the world but
we just might do some good for one another
property is violence
when everyone is dying
if you can stand, stand up for those who cant
and if you feel like trying
then we can start a riot
even if the world's still gonna end
property is violence
when everyone is dying
if you can stand, stand up for those who cant
|
||||
11. |
||||
|
adrift upon the oceans, my emotions
in shambles lying face down on the floor
beneath the imperfections, resurrection
in life as death, in death, forevermore
at peace with my existence, my insistence
im failing sum the parts until they're whole
the emptiness inside me, is subsiding
in heart as mind, as mind, without control
and im losing my mind
but i'm not losing hope
im stumbling blindly to the future
i dont wanna die
but i do not know how to cope
im alive at least for now and thats what counts
thunderous, immense
minuscule, irrelevant
my imaginations hellbent
on raising hell, inside my head
lost among the spaces, unknown faces
places where ive already been told
living with the feeling, im still healing
in life as death
in heart as mind
in body as in soul
and im losing my mind
but i'm not losing hope
im stumbling blindly to the future
i dont wanna die
but i do not know how to cope
im alive at least for now and thats what counts
im alive at least for now and thats what counts
im alive at least for now and thats what counts
|
||||
12. |
plush doll
02:58
|
|||
|
pull me closer
hold me tighter
ill be with you
when you need to cry
let my stuffing
ease the suffering
that youre holding
onto deep inside
i want to offer myself kindness
i want to deserve the love i share
with everyone
i want to love myself
pull me closer
hold me tighter
ill be with you
when you need to cry
let my stuffing
ease the suffering
that youre holding
onto deep inside
let it go
you're fine, you're alright
take it slow
you're here, you're alive
let it go
in time you will thrive
you will grow
pull me closer
hold me tighter
ill be with you
when you need to cry
let my stuffing
ease the suffering
that youre holding
onto deep inside
i want to offer myself kindness
i want to deserve the love i share
with everyone
i want to love myself
pull me closer
hold me tighter
ill be with you
when we need to cry
let my stuffing
ease the suffering
that we're holding
onto deep inside
deep inside
|
||||
Gleaming Moonlight Edmonton, Alberta
idk, its some music what are you expecting?
(she/her)
If you like I WILL NEVER LAY DOWN AND DIE, you may also like:
featured on Bandcamp Radio Sep 1, 2023
go to album
Sidewalkin'
by the cigarette bums
An album of garage punk stompers that will stick in your ears like bubblegum to your shoes.
go to album
featured on Bandcamp Radio Apr 12, 2024
go to album
Breathless indie pop from Oakland group neutrals, who mine the classic spirit of Sarah Records to terrific result.
go to album
A no wave oddity out of the Netherlands, Geo make warped and dissonant dance party punk rock.
go to album
Dead Cross, Retox, and Qui members dish out subversive hardcore with an indignant smirk; come for the riffs, stay for the synth experiments.
go to album
Sinister Feeling
by Sinister Feeling
featured on Bandcamp Radio Mar 29, 2024
go to album
